


Mistakes and Heartaches

by propertyofpoeandbucky



Series: Poe Dameron Oneshots [10]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-19
Updated: 2021-01-19
Packaged: 2021-03-17 15:53:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28851627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/propertyofpoeandbucky/pseuds/propertyofpoeandbucky
Summary: As requested by isaaccoscar : Can you write Poe x reader based on prompt #11 and #84?#11: “Dear Diary,…”#84: “Show me what’s behind your back.”
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Reader, Poe Dameron & You, Poe Dameron/Reader, Poe Dameron/You
Series: Poe Dameron Oneshots [10]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2115642
Kudos: 5





	Mistakes and Heartaches

You entered your quarters completely drained: mentally and physically. You threw yourself onto your bed smelling like sweat and oil. You tore off your jumpsuit and threw it to the ground. You were too lazy and heartbroken to take a shower.

It has been two weeks since you broke things off with Poe and you were miserable. Sure, you were the one to break up with him, but that didn’t mean you weren’t hurting.

Poe was constantly choosing his work over you. You understood why, but after a while it was starting to hurt. You were with Poe, yet you felt so lonely. You couldn’t take it anymore, so you broke things off.

_Poe pleaded with you, begged you to stay, that he can make things work._

_You shook your head to him and said, “You and I both know that you can’t make this work.”_

You took your pillow and screamed into it. You then took your holo diary from your bedside table and began to type into it, “ **Dear diary** ,” you muttered:

Did I make a mistake? Should I have not broken up with Poe? I feel so miserable. Jess tells me that Poe feels the same way too. She said that he doesn’t get much sleep now. He stays up tinkering BB-8 or his X-Wing. Maybe I should talk to him? I don’t know. Everything felt so right with him, but then the loneliness set in. Those countless nights of restless sleep not knowing whether he was going to come back or not. The constant “next times” that he gave whenever he had to cancel a date. Everything was falling apart. My brain is telling me that I made the right choice…but my heart is telling me otherwise…

* * *

Poe was wide awake sitting by the lake. The stars shining above him. He twirled his mother’s wedding ring between his fingers. He was going to use it to propose to you. He knew you were the one. He knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with you, yet he let you slip away. It was his own fault. He shouldn’t have accepted so many missions. He should’ve just told General Organa that she should pick someone else.

Poe felt like he was nothing without you. He didn’t feel like the “best pilot in the galaxy”. He felt broken and helpless. He should’ve seen the signs. He should’ve known something was wrong. Now it was too late.

BB-8 was wandering for what felt like hours look for Poe. When he finally found him by the lake, he was beeping angrily saying that he was worried.

Poe gave him a sad smile, “I’m sorry, buddy. I just-I just needed some fresh air and somewhere to think clearly.” He handed the ring to BB-8 who kept it in one of his compartments, “Keep that safe for me, alright?”

BB-8 beeps curiously asking if he was ever going to talk to you again. Poe sighed and ran his hand through his messy hair, “I don’t know. I doubt she even wants to see me.”

The little droid beeped saying, “Well if you don’t, then I will!” The droid began to quickly roll away from his owner.

“Wait! Hold up! Don’t do it now! She’s probably sleeping!” Poe called after the little droid. His heart started beating faster and not because of the running, because he might be seeing you since the break up. He doesn’t know if he could handle it.

You finished up your entry for the day and signed it off with your name. You then heard a thud at your door. You looked at the time and saw how late it was. Who would be up at this time?

You lazily dragged yourself from your bed and towards your door. You pushed the button and it hissed open revealing Poe scolding BB-8 for some reason. You were suddenly paralyzed.

Poe straightened up and held the ring behind his back, “Oh, uh, hi Y/N.”

“H-Hi, Poe. Was there, uh, something you needed?”

“Not really.”

BB-8 then began to beep rapidly and angrily saying that Poe needs to show you the thing and talk to you.

“Show me what?” You looked at Poe curiously.

“Nothing. Beebee’s just messing around.”

“Just **show me what’s behind your back** , Poe.”

“But I,” Poe stopped himself and sighed, “Fine.” He took his hands from behind his back and held open his palm revealing his mother’s ring, “It’s my mom’s and, well, I was gonna give it to you. Ya know, when I proposed. But I don’t think that’s gonna happen anymore.” Poe pocketed the ring, “You made me realize how much I messed up. I took advantage of your love and patience. I never intended to hurt you. I was just-“ He gave a deep breath, “I was just trying to make the galaxy a safer place. For everyone. For us. For you.

“I was doing all this to protect you and by doing so, I ended up losing you. And I’m so sorry, Y/N. I really don’t want things to end this way. Please, just let me prove to you how important you are to me.”

You looked down playing with the hem of your undershirt, “I’ll admit, I miss you like crazy. I still love you. I just hate that you make me feel so lonely. That you choose the galaxy over me.”

“Y/N, you are my galaxy. I will do anything for you and if it means going to the extremes to express how much you mean to me, then I’ll do it. I don’t want to lose you for good.”

You shyly smiled at him, “You have a lot of cancelled dates to make up for.”

Poe nodded with a hopeful smile on his face, “I won’t let you down again.”


End file.
